What Hurting People Need (Part 1)
When the unthinkable happens to someone you love, what do you do?
When a loved one dies, when an earth-shattering diagnosis comes in, when a family falls apart, when life deals a gut-punch to someone you know, how do you respond?
It’s amazing how helpless and just plain dumb we humans can be. Deer caught in headlights.
In the face of something big, I often find that my feet freeze to the floor, my hands fall limply to my sides, and my brain freezes like a Windows 95 PC–complete with one twitchy eye mimicking the CRT monitor refreshing.
What shakes me out of it is this one thought: If this news is doing this to me, what must it be doing to my friend? And my frozen state is instantly replaced with a call to action.
I must say, I’m not a “thoughts & prayers” kinda girl–not at all. If I’m going to err, it’s going to be on the side of doing too much. And I have. (Boundaries might be a good topic for another day!)
I’ve learned a few things by trial and error as I have reached out to others, but the greatest teacher of all has been my own pain.
When jobs disappeared and finances dried up, when depression crept in, when I lost a baby, when I grappled with the life-altering diagnosis of my son… and so much more… I got a front-row seat to the ways people reach out to hurting people.
And I have a few notes.
Over the next few weeks I’ll be exploring this topic, and hopefully presenting some good ideas.
But first, I’m going to start by talking about the bad and the ugly ones.
Some things that people do to hurting people are simply NOT helpful, and NOT kind, and NEED to stop. Like yesterday.
So here I am, jumping into the deep end with this brand new blog. I’m going to start preaching at you next week with the first “Don’t” — We Need Care, Not Advice.
Have you ever had a painful experience made worse by someone trying to help? I suspect some of us could use some group therapy! Comment below.
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