The Most Incredible Thing about The Incredibles

My husband and I have always enjoyed Pixar movies, and one of our favourites is The Incredibles. I suppose a story about a husband-wife crime-fighting duo that was released while we were dating just sort of stood out. (Please nobody mention that that movie is turning 20 this year. I already know I’m old!)

Our love for this movie inspired some Incredibles-themed fun with our second-born’s maternity pictures.

Incredibles 2 was released many years later. By then we had a five year old and a two year old. And while I’m pretty sure I must have watched it back then, I don’t remember it. There was far too much on my mind. Our son’s autism diagnosis had only been official for a little while, and our lives were loaded with speech therapy, occupational therapy, social workers, school meetings, sensory meltdowns, delayed toilet training, sleepless nights, the inability to go to shopping without arranging childcare, and on and on and on.

All that to say, I watched Incredibles 2 with my youngest this week, and this time I remember what I saw. I also can’t help but think that Incredibles 2 may just be the perfect movie for Autism Awareness/Acceptance Month.

Let me explain.

The Incredibles are a family of superheros. Bob/Mr. Incredible has super-strength. Helen/Elastigirl has super-flexibility. Their daughter Violet can go invisible, and generate protective force fields. Dash, the middle child, has super-speed. Then there’s Baby Jack-Jack. Jack-Jack doesn’t have any powers. Yet.

While Helen is away on an important trip and Bob is in charge, strange things begin to happen in their home. Baby Jack-Jack isn’t sleeping, is constantly escaping his crib, and is running Bob ragged. One night Bob wakes up with a start to find Jack-Jack outside in the yard. It is then that Bob realizes Jack-Jack has powers after all! He can phase through matter, meaning that he can pass through his crib, walls, and any locked door at any time. (In addition to multiple other powers.)

The look on Bob’s face when he realizes just how much trouble he is in… Well, it felt very familiar.

Bob doesn’t tell anyone right away. He is determined not to call Helen and ask her to come back, and instead tries to handle things on his own. Oh look! It’s me!

Essentially, he stops sleeping so he can care for Jack-Jack 24 hours per day. He is alert at all times, just waiting for his infant son to escape and hurt himself. Seriously, did they put a camera in our house?

Eventually, the truth comes out. Violet calls Bob’s best friend Lucius, and he comes immediately. And he continues to drop everything and come immediately every time he is called. Lucius is the one to convince Bob that he can’t do it all on his own, and to seek professional help.

Professional help comes in the form of “Auntie Edna,” a designer of supersuits. Edna babysits Jack-Jack for free, and in that time, she learns all about Jack-Jack and comes up with a way for his family to accommodate his powers. She designs a baby-sized super-suit for him that will protect him from virtually anything, and a remote control that will alert Bob to Jack-Jack’s location at all times. In the process, Edna falls head over heels for Jack-Jack, and offers to babysit him anytime.

While Edna cares for Jack-Jack, Violet and Dash take care of each other and everything at home. They let their Dad sleep for 17 hours straight.

In short, an entire village gathers around Bob the second they know he needs help. Incredible.

The Incredibles 2 is a movie full of characters that defy the laws of nature. There are fire-generating people, ice-generating people, people who can fly, and so much more. Yet, nothing in this movie felt more make-believe to me than the way the community came together and helped Bob. That was something I simply could not relate to. That was the part that felt the most far-fetched.

As I processed the movie afterwards, I asked myself why it was so different for Bob than for my family, and every special-needs family I know. I wondered why everyone gathered around Bob and took care of him and Jack-Jack, despite the fact that Jack-Jack’s needs were intense and intimidating (the child could literally turn into a fireball!). Why did everyone in this movie run towards the family that had a special child, instead of away from them?

Here’s two things I realized:

1. In the movie, no one is so afraid, confused, or intimidated by Jack-Jack’s powers that they want to keep their distance. They are all familiar with the idea that many babies are born with superpowers, and that raising kids with superpowers comes with challenges. It is simply a variation of the normal they have all experienced.
   
2. In the movie, everyone is thrilled that Jack-Jack has powers. While they recognize that Jack-Jack’s early years are going to be challenging, no one is sorry that he has powers. They celebrate it! In the world of The Incredibles, special powers aren’t something to be feared, aren’t considered a tragedy, and aren’t something to be pitied or whispered about. No one is standing back saying, “Oh that poor family…” No one is keeping away in case Jack-Jack’s challenges rub off on their own kids. They are simply happy to finally learn what Jack-Jack’s powers are; and they are eager to figure out how best to take care of him. Incredible.

The first item above is awareness. The second is acceptance.

I’m happy to say that my family is seeing more of both these days. But that was definitely not always the case. I can’t help but wonder (and mourn) how different our lives could have been if there had been any measure of awareness and acceptance in our circle ten years ago.

Autism Awareness/Acceptance Month is coming to a close. And I’m so glad you’re here! If you find yourself at all curious about autism, ADHD, neurodiversity, or special-needs parenting, please stick around. I’m more than happy to share.

If my little blog can spread enough awareness or inspire enough acceptance to prevent even one family from experiencing what we experienced a decade ago, it will all be worth it.

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